Happy Birthday, J! Six years on ...

Oct 2014: This is my friend, J. She turned 96 the other day. I called her up at the aged care facility she now lives in. I was scared of what I might find. It was more than six months since our last contact. Six months is a long time at 96. I had been 'busy'. Perhaps she had died and no one had told me? Perhaps her dementia was worse and she wouldn't know who I was?

Thankfully, neither of my worst fears were realised and for a little while we chatted like the old mates we are. But after a while, the same questions were asked again and again and the same stories were repeated, and it was apparent the dementia had not gone away.

I felt, and still feel, sad for my friend and our friendship. Sad that she is in such a place after such a full and active life. But today, I came across this, written six years ago, and it reminded me why I called, why I need to call more often and why I will keep calling my friend until I get the final call that tells me she has gone ...

 

Oct 2008 ... This is my friend, J. She turned 90 the other day.

We can all only hope to be as active in mind and body as Joy at 90. But J's greatest gift is not her longevity, it's her ability to connect and stay connected with people. One of the other guests at the party was 91. She and J had been mates since they started Guides aged 11.

 

J got her first computer only a year or two ago and she's already a dab hand with email, but her main tools are the telephone, the letter and a brilliant memory for people and their special events.

 

She's never been rich. She comes from the 'make-do' generation who lived through the Depression and the war. She's a natural recycler. She manages to keep things to re-use and always remember not only where she put them, but that she did keep them so she does reuse. But every handmade card on handmade, recycled paper is a precious gift of something  most of us have little of today: time.

 

J's real wealth comes from the time she gives to other people: her large, multi-generation extended family, friends in every state and every decade and the host of community organisations she supports. What she gives, gives back. It's something that thousands of friends on Facebook can never give you.

 

Happy birthday, J. Many happy returns.